Home is where the heart is?

So I wanted to share photos of my room thus far. I really do have it pretty much all set up, though its pretty sparse. I really do like it, for its my space, and with all the craziness of being in a new country and all that... its really nice to just have a place of my own. I still have to figure out how to do the laundry, but other than that, I really could live here!

People keep on asking me if I am homesick. My first response is to just stare at them and wonder how anyone could be homesick when you are in a place like FRANCE! But it is true, there are things to be missed while being away from my home. I find that I have gotten used to living away from "home" so that is not what I really miss. I do miss people though. I want my friends and loved ones near to be having these cool experiences with me! But its also ok that they are not here, for that means I get to come back and tell them all about it :) Selfish of me, but there you go.

I do feel at home here though. I love it here. I have only been here a week, but I already feel myself falling into the comfortable feeling that Bordeaux is my town. I have not seen all of her, but I have seen enough to command a sense of confidence that I could never feel lost anywhere. True, that may be a bit cocky, but I have taken a lot of time to understand the winding streets and the multiple tram lines.

But I don't think that it is my ability to find any store that makes me feel at home here.

I realize that I feel more at home here because I love the history that surrounds every street. At every turn there are lifetimes that have been there before me. Though I am not a poet, I do think I thrive where there is enough story and life in one place that you can feel it in the air. And I appreciate it. Though I never personally knew any of the people who were really born in this city, when I walk the streets I feel like I am also secretly giving my spirit to the city that was built with so much love. Doesn't that sound silly?

I am terrible at describing the feeling I have when I look down the crowded streets, but at least I tried :)

I don't know how to introduce this next thought process, but I will try to describe it all clearly. My thoughts have often been turning to my mom. My Marmie. Ever since she died I have been angry at her for leaving me. I knew it, though I always tried to hide it. Here, for some reason, I have been able to let it go a bit. Though I am still terribly sad that she is not here to let me talk to her, I am finding so many ways to be grateful that she was who she was, and that I was her daughter. I miss her so much. So very much. But I have been finding that I feel her closer to me here, than when I was in the States. All that I was saying about the history in the air.... she gave that appreciation to me. She loved history. She loved discovering where something came from, and trying to figure out just what sort of thought came up with the object. She would drag us to all sorts of museums to "expand our minds". At the time I found it more than irritating. There were some that I liked, but, as I said, some seemed hardly impressive, for it was not THAT long ago that they were made :) But here..... all I have to do is look around, and I see her pointing at something and smiling, and encouraging me to see the beauty in the artwork or skill. She would be stopping at every plaque to read all that it had to say, and then she would be asking me questions to try and link, in my mind, the information on that board with whatever we already saw. Though it is hard to have her so close and yet so far away from me, it is also really great to really experience wonderful things about her that are left even when she is gone.

There. I don't think that that really expresses my feelings or experiences, but again, I tried.

Today was spent trying to figure out all our classes. I don't actually want to get into it, but the end result is that we are not actually signed up for anything, and so we are going to visit classes this week to decide just what classes we want. Our first one is Wednesday. I think it should be good.

Tomorrow I hope to do something fun, but we will see.
Goodnight until then!